Just Leave Me Here In Pieces
by Blood Red Kiss of Death
Summary: The Bulimic & The Cutter; a look into the minds of Blair Waldorf and Eric van der Woodsen. Season 4
1. Chapter 1

**Title: **Just Leave Me Here In Pieces  
**Characters: **Blair, Eric  
**Rating/Word Count: **T | 871  
**Disclaimer:** 'Gossip Girl' belongs to Cecily von Ziegesar, Josh Schwartz, and the CW. No copyright infringement intended. Title from Backstreet Boys' In Pieces. (Great song. Perfect for Blair Waldorf & Eric van der Woodsen. It's a great character song.)  
**Warning: **This story **_heavily_** features cutting and bulimia. I am neither, so I'm basing this on research (and I have a minor in pscyhology).  
**Author's Note: **I love B and my baby (Eric). Duh. This is my favorite sibling-ship. I think it would benefit them both to have each other in their lives. Please let me know what you think!

* * *

Blair walked down the hall and paused momentarily when she saw light. She frowned, ready to ask Eric why he wasn't at her event. Walking to the doorway, she paused again and watched him. He was in bed wearing pajamas and reading.

He suddenly looked up, expression completely blank; it startled her.

She put on a smile. "Hey. Why are you home? You should be -"

"_You_ should be there." His tone made her smile disappear. It wasn't that he sounded angry or irritated; he just sounded emotionless.

"I needed something here for the party," she responded and walked to the bed. She was about to ask him what was wrong when he shifted and she noticed something on his wrist. It took her only a second to realize what she was seeing. Blair immediately grabbed his wrist; he had no time to get away. "What is this?"

He pulled hard out of grasp. "What?"

"Don't you play dumb with me, Eric van der Woodsen! What have you been doing?" she asked hoarsely, scared.

"Reading," deadpanned.

Her eyes met his – blank. She reached for his wrist again, but he pulled back this time.

"Don't you have a party to host?" he snapped. He just wanted to read; why wouldn't she leave him alone?

"Do you really think I'm going to go away? After last time?"

He stayed silent for a minute. "You don't know anything about 'last time,'" he finally said, blankly, quietly.

"I know," she whispered and sat down beside him. "That's the point. I didn't know, and I should have been around," she confessed. "So if you think I am going to leave you alone, Eric, you underestimate me. And the way I love you," she added. Because that was the most important fact and he needed to know and understand it.

His gaze dropped, and she took advantage by hugging him tightly. After a moment, he reciprocated, leaning into her. She said nothing about the tears, only let her own fall. After some time – a minute, five, an hour – the repetitive beeping of Blair's phone pulled Eric away.

"You should make sure everything is okay with your party," he pointed out.

"I have been organizing these things on my own since I was 14. Nothing is wrong; just a bunch of overreactions and people who need to be told what to do," she stated in response.

"And you'd want to give up that opportunity?" he teased with a soft smile.

She smiled weakly. "Who needs headless chickens when you have a little brother who, once-upon-a-time, never questioned, only trusted."

He shifted, shaking his head. He paused, trying to find the right words to explain what he was feeling. "Trust has to be earned. Blind faith gets you nowhere." He went with a cliché.

(His entire life felt like a cliché.)

She took his chin in her hand and forced him to look at her. "You think I don't know that? It's _me_. My mother, my dad, Serena, Nate," she paused, "Chuck. I get that more than most, Eric. And I want to be there for you; I want you to be able to trust me. Because you can't without trust."

She felt a tad hypercritical saying that, but then again, maybe she just trusted too much. Eric was right, blind faith was bad. But the opposite left you alone. There needed to be a balance.

Suddenly, he just broke. "Please don't say anything," he begged.

She sighed. "Eric - "

"It's not what you think," he promised.

She waited for an explanation.

He caved after a minute. "It's just that everyone is always making decisions without me. Everything is going to shit around me. I want to help, but no one is listening. It makes me feel helpless and that feeling makes me sad and _so_ angry." He took a breath. "And _this_?" he showed his wrist, "I don't know how to explain it but when I do it, I feel -"

"In control," she finished without blinking at his admission of on-going cutting.

He stared at her, confusion on his face. "How'd you know?"

She let out a bitter laugh and stroked his cheek. "Because I'm bulimic," she confessed – because trust goes both ways. She watched as he took in what she said and almost laughed as his jaw dropped. In fact, she did let out a chuckle. "This is actually a shock, Eric?"

He couldn't answer, because was it really surprising that Blair Waldorf – Queen of Control, daughter of a fashion daughter, his blonde goddess sister's best friend – had an _eating _disorder? Of course not. Honestly, it would make sense; it explained how she managed to deal with her life – how she _couldn't_. He went back into the hug. He was so tired – of life, of feeling so out of control, so hopeless. He cried some more, freely. Blair slipped off her heels and shifted them so they were lying down. He stayed in her arms. And without giving another thought to her phone – her event, her job – she closed her eyes. Tomorrow she would talk with him more seriously and figure out how to help him.

* * *

**AN #2: **This will be a multi-chapter story, but at the moment, it's good as a stand-alone. But I have more. And it will include heavily on Chuck's relationship with the two; Nate and Eric bonding; and the rest of the UES.


	2. Chapter 2

**Title: **Just Leave Me Here In Pieces  
**Characters: **Blair, Eric  
**Rating/Word Count: **T | 754  
**Disclaimer:** 'Gossip Girl' belongs to Cecily von Ziegesar, Josh Schwartz, and the CW. No copyright infringement intended. Title from Backstreet Boys' In Pieces. (Great song. Perfect for Blair Waldorf & Eric van der Woodsen. It's a great character song.)  
**Warning: **This story **_heavily_** features cutting and bulimia. I am neither, so I'm basing this on research (and I have a minor in pscyhology).  
**Author's Note: **I love B and my baby (Eric). Duh. This is my favorite sibling-ship. I think it would benefit them both to have each other in their lives. Please let me know what you think!

* * *

Eric woke up confused. There was someone in his bed with him. A female? He sat up and looked at her, realizing that the brunette curls belonged to one person. "Blair," he muttered, the conversation from last night coming back. He groaned, knowing she wouldn't leave _it_ alone.

He slipped out of his bed and walked to his bathroom, closing the door quietly, hoping Blair would stay asleep. He washed his face and then stared at his reflection, thinking about his life, his family. He snapped out of those thoughts when he saw her through the mirror.

"Morning," she greeted with a soft smile when their eyes met.

"I wasn't doing anything," he said defensively.

"I wasn't accusing you, Eric," she responded calmly, like she was talking to an 8-year-old instead of an 18-year-old.

After a couple minutes of silence, she moved, hopping onto the sink counter beside him.

"Are you going to stay here?" he asked her reflection, refusing to look at her.

"No. Eventually we'll move out of the bathroom."

"Funny," he deadpanned.

"Do you want me to leave you alone?" A hint of a smirk crossed her face.

"Yes!" he shouted.

She didn't even flinch. "If that's what you want…" she stood up and left the bathroom.

He sighed and followed. "Wait."

She paused and turned around.

"I know what you just did. I'm not Serena. I can spot reverse psychology a mile away."

"And yet you still called me back," eyes twinkling.

"Just to tell you I know what you did."

She nodded and left.

He watched her and went after her. "Why do you keep walking away?" he sounded annoyed and hurt.

"Make up your mind, Eric. Do you want me to stay or leave?"

"I…"

She moved toward him and hugged him tightly. "It's okay to ask for help."

He shifted, resting his head on her shoulder. "How'd you come to that conclusion?"

"The first Thanksgiving without my dad. I got into a power struggle with my mom. Ended up eating an entire apple pie in like ten minutes. I called Serena. We had fought earlier. She came immediately."

He pulled away, looking her over – she looked healthy.

After another minute, she spoke up. "Breakfast?"

He paled and frowned. "After that, I'm not hungry."

She nodded. She wasn't either, the memory and smell lingering.

It was then that Lily came into the hallway, dressed up for the day. She spotted the pair and took in Eric's appearance. "Darling, it's almost 11. Please get dressed."

Blair saw Eric's stance shift and flinched even before he spoke, knowing what was to come; she'd done the same thing hundreds of times.

"It's Sunday," he spat. "It means I'm allowed to actually sleep past nine. Hell, in some parts of the city, Sunday means I can sleep past noon."

"Eric, what is wrong with you lately?"

It didn't matter what she was actually saying; all he heard was judgment in her tone. "Nothing!" he snapped and stormed back to his room.

They watched him retreat before Lily turned to Blair.

Blair was at a loss. What was the right thing to do? She turned to Lily, but all she saw seemed to be annoyance instead of concern. She didn't know if it was her imagination; then again, for all the years that Serena and Eric stayed at her house… Blair made a decision. "He was up all night doing an English paper. He just needs sleep."

Lily nodded and, without a look back, went away.

The quick reaction let Blair believe she'd done what was best for Eric. But she was not going to let him get off the hook with her. She marched back to his room and opened the door.

He looked up with a glare.

"I just lied to your mother. Show some gratitude," she snapped.

He deflated. "Why?" he asked, confused. He was sure Blair was going to tell.

She shrugged. "Because she can't help you. You need more than the Ostroff Center. You need support. I'm here for you, Eric. Please know that. And if you ever need an escape house, my door is always open."

She walked over to him and kissed the top of his head. "You were up all night doing an English paper, hence the moodiness." And she left, but she still heard his whispered "thanks."

Blair knew he was having similar issues with Serena. Eric might not show up at the Waldorf penthouse. There was one place she had to go first.

**.tbc.**


End file.
